Lately I've Been Thinking
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Life at SGC can be precarious at best. Set a few years after series ended, a peek at the possibilities and probabilities of the lives of SG-1 and families. Daniel, Jack and Carolyn friendship. D/V C/C, S/J. No spoilers
1. Chapter 1

Lately I've Been Thinking…

Spacegypsy1

Life at SGC can be precarious at best. Set a few years after series ended, a peek at the possibilities and probabilities of the lives of SG-1 and families. Daniel, Jack and Carolyn friendship. D/V C/C, S/J. (they all show up) No spoilers.

**Chapter One: You Can't Always Get What You Want.**

_**0130 hours**_.

Spooned together, he buried his nose in the crook of her neck, chuckling at something she'd said while one hand idly traced across the tight skin of her protruding stomach. He had to stretch his fingers to reach the nub of her belly button.

"Stop. That tickles." Swatting at his hand, she sighed. "We have to decide on a name. You leave at 1100 hours and you are not leaving this planet without agreeing to a name."

"Mutt? Jeff? Astro? I mean, really, it's like science fiction, there's some being growin' inside of you. Besides, we've got four weeks; I'll be back in two. At least we hope to be back in two." He felt her tense and could have kicked himself for reminding her of the severity of the mission.

"Carolyn?"

She didn't respond, but he could hear her weeping.

"Come on, honey, don't cry." With a hand on her shoulder, he tried to roll her towards him but she shrugged her shoulder loose.

"This is so dangerous. I'm scared. What if I lose you? What if something happens and you don't come back? What if all of you don't come back?"

Frustrated, Cam rolled out of bed and pulled on his boxers. He went to the window and leaned the back of his forearm against the panes, his head dropping to rest against the arm. "Carolyn, honey, we've talked this one to death, before we even started dating seriously, before we decided to get married, before we agreed to have a child." Rolling his head, he looked back at her.

Carolyn reached out a hand towards him. "I know. And I wouldn't change a thing, Cam. I meant everything I said. But I never promised I wouldn't be sad."

Coming to her, he took her hand and sat.

"What do you expect? That I'd be happy to see you go and possibly get yourself killed? I can see it now, me and little Mutt in the grocery store when someone comments… 'oh, what a darling little boy, his father must be so proud of him'; and I'd say, 'I suppose he would be had he not been thrown out into cold space and died a horrible death…but that's alright, we talked about it'."

Cam lifted a soothing hand to her worry wrinkled brow. "Scoot over." He nudged her belly playfully, lay down and took her in his arms.

Crying, Carolyn kissed his neck. "Make love to me."

"Ah, no you don't, that's not fair."

"It's fine, Cam; I'm a doctor, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember it can bring on labor."

"I can't bear you leaving without making love to me."

"Ah, woman, you're killin' me."

**0340 hours**

"Cam!" Carolyn propped herself up on one elbow. "Wake up."

Half asleep, he mumbled, "huh?" It took him a few seconds to comprehend the situation. He leapt from the bed. "What the hell!?"

"My water broke."

**0900 hours**

"Yep, it's a boy, a beautiful boy." Cam's eyes filled with tears as he delivered his son and brought him up to lie beside his mother. "Frank Cameron Mitchell."

Smiling, Carolyn closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Well, we can't name a baby Hank."

"Cameron, junior."

"I can't. Not Junior. O'Neill will think he's a symbiote." As he talked Cam prepared the equipment for cutting the baby's cord. "Okay, one clamp goes here." He placed it precisely, "And it doesn't hurt the baby." He snapped it closed. "And the other one goes here." His eyes lifted to his wife and he smiled. "Promise me this doesn't hurt." He snapped the second one closed.

"He won't feel a thing." Her gaze was on the baby.

Grasping the sterile scissors from the pack, he took a deep breath and snipped the cord in two. "You're free little man. Welcome to the universe." Eyes glistening with tears Cam kissed the baby's forehead and then his wife's lips. "Come on, little fella, we gotta go see the nurse over there waitin'."

While he participated in cleaning and dressing the child, Cam intermittently turned to grin at Carolyn. She smiled wearily, but always her head was turned in their direction, her eyes open and watching.

Bundling up the prize, he took the baby back and placed him in Carolyn's arms. "There. My two favorite people in all the universe." Again, he kissed the baby's forehead and then her.

The doctor returned to announce both mother and child were healthy, then suggested Cam take the baby out and show him off while they got Carolyn into a clean bed. Grinning, Cam lifted the bundle of baby and headed into the corridor.

Vala and Teal'c rushed forward, while Daniel stood back a moment.

Vala turned, a happy smile on her face. "Daniel, I want a baby."

"You have one."

"I want another one."

Ignoring her, he moved forward, and taking Cam's hand in a firm shake, he gave him a light hug, careful not to squeeze the child. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." Cam looked down at the baby. "He's somethin' else, isn't he?"

Teal'c towered over the two and began his inspection, lifting the blankets. The baby responded with a loud cry, and Teal'c's brow rose. "He will make a fine warrior."

"Why is that, Muscles?"

"Because his lungs are strong, and his feet are large."

The others burst into laughter just as Sam rushed up. "Sorry I'm late. Oh, he's so cute." She tried to take the child from Cam but he refused.

"I only have an hour."

"Right, I have got to get changed. Oh, Cam, he's so beautiful. Tell Carolyn I'll see her when we get back. See you later in the 'Gateroom."

"Samantha?"

"Yes?" Turning with a quizzical grin, Sam waited for Vala's question.

"Where are Jack and the children?"

"In the control room; Jack's letting them play with Walter's toys."

Cuddling the baby close Cam looked at Daniel. "So, you're sittin' this one out?"

"Yeah, I have to be in Washington later this week. Nothing I said would convince the President that I needed to go with you guys."

"We'll miss you." Cam turned and wandered back into the infirmary with Vala, Teal'c and Daniel close on his heels.

When the hour drew near, Cam placed the baby in the bassinet.

"Oh, ahm, I need to go get ready, gear up." Vala hugged Carolyn.

"I, too, must leave." Teal'c bowed.

"I'll be back later. And I'll be around a few more days and back within three days after that." Daniel looked around the now somber group. Then back to Carolyn.

She placed a hand on his arm without a word. But he knew she shared his trepidation. They would be left behind to worry.

**1100 hours.**

Daniel looked down into the Gateroom at SG-1, his eighteen-month-old on his hip while Jack held a four-year-old boy and his six-year-old sister each by the waist. They stood on top of Walter's console table peering at the Stargate.

"Well, Daniel, at least you don't have to leave your kid with Mrs. Doubtfire."

Scowling, Daniel turned to Jack, "Stop calling her that. Jan is great and we really love her. She's the perfect Nanny, and we never worry when we're gone; besides, if something happens to us, we've made you and Sam legal guardians."

Jack blanched. "Crap, that's all I need, another one...and baby makes three, no wait, that's five."

As the Chief began to dial, Daniel suddenly handed off his child to Landry, and taking the steps down two at a time, rushed into the Gateroom.

Vala turned with a smile, but he went right past her to Mitchell. Cam took a step forward as Daniel approached. In unison they said, "Take care of her."

"I will, and don't let Junior get into any trouble."

"I'll be here most of the time. I'll watch out for them. Just bring her back."

Cam nodded.

Retreating, Daniel walked past Vala and clipped her on her chin. Then he nodded to Sam and Teal'c and left the room, just as the kawoosh settled. By the time he reached the control room, they were gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Lately I've Been Thinking…

Spacegypsy1

**Chapter Two: But Sometimes You Get What You Need **

**Six weeks later. 0700 hours. Cheyenne Mountain.**

Once again, Carolyn found herself arguing with the base commander, her father. "I need to do this, I want to be here. I can't go home, not now. I'll use one of the large VIP rooms."

"Carolyn, you can't raise a child under the mountain like a little mole. He needs sunshine and good air. This is ludicrous! You're not thinking straight. Take a few more weeks off."

"I've already had too many weeks off! I want to work. I need to work and the baby will be fine. He'll get air and sunshine, and he'll have you and Daniel…and Jack."

Landry paced. "It's too dangerous. You're not keeping my grandson on this base!"

"Daniel brings Nicky!"

"Dr. Jackson has asked to work from home; he's here a few hours a week at most, and he's considering an extended leave of absence." His tone clearly indicated she should consider the same.

Those hated tears she'd fought so hard to contain started trickling down their well-used paths. "I can't work from home! I can't stand to see his side of the bed empty, hear his voice on the answering machine! Smell his scent on his clothes! Please!"

Hank Landry dropped his head, took a breath, and wrapped an arm around his daughter. "I'm calling your mother. She told me she's offered to stay and live with you, help you. She wants to be here, and you know it's the best thing. You can work better knowing the baby is well cared for. It's your only option. As much as I love you, Carolyn, you are not keeping that child here twenty-four hours a day. He deserves more. Colonel Mitchell would agree. You know it."

Putting on her 'professional' face, Carolyn moved away from him. "Yes. He would." She sighed, "I never imagined it would be this hard." Walking out, she didn't look back.

**One year, two months and six weeks ago**

Trying to concentrate on stitching the wound on Colonel Mitchell's chest, Carolyn felt his gaze on her. "Stop that."

"What, doc?"

"Staring at me." Wanting to control the silly grin that threatened to ignite, she tugged a stitch tight and jabbed the curved needle into the thick skin over his left pectoral muscles.

"Makin' you nervous?" His hand came to rest gently on the wrist that held the suture needle.

Her head raised, bangs falling across one eye. "Yes. You want an ugly scar?"

"If you want, you can carve our initials right there over my heart."

"Pfft! Your heart is about three inches down and two to the right." She started sewing again.

"My heart, doc, is right here." Cam moved his hand from her wrist and pointed, letting a finger trace ever so lightly on her scrubs between her breasts. "Did you have a good time last night?"

Finishing up, Carolyn cut the suture, set aside her needle and scissors, and retrieved gauze to clean the wound. "I did. Thank you." Carefully she placed a bandage over the stitches, ignoring the rapid beat of her heart.

"So. You wanna go to dinner tonight?"

There was that damned grin that made her knees weak and her heart flutter. "Tonight?" It came out just above a squeak.

"Yep."

"You want to go out to dinner? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?" She turned to clean up the suture tray.

"Too ugly to eat?" He was already getting up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

The laugh burst out even though she clamped a hand over her mouth. Why did she lose such control every time he was near? "You shouldn't move so fast."

"What? Askin' you out to dinner? It's not like I'm takin' you to the local motel. I'll cook. I cook up some mean grits and ..."

"Grits?"

"Doc, until you taste my grits…well, you haven't tasted." Buttoning his shirt, Cam looked up. Even with a bruised face he still managed that 'bad-boy' grin.

--x--

She ended up staying for breakfast. "I need to go, Cam. Let me check your wound before I leave." She stood and walked around to where he sat at the table.

"Hmm." He didn't like that doctor tone she used. "Which one, honey? The one on the outside or the one on the inside?"

Her hand hesitated over his bandage. "Meaning what?"

"Meaning you've pulled the shade down…again." His hands grabbed both of her wrists. "What is it? You go from hot to cold like my gran'maw havin' hot flashes. We need to talk. Because if you're feelin' guilty, or whatever, I need to know. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm not lookin' for a good time and then back to business."

Carolyn stepped back. "I'm not used to being so blatantly honest, or…"

"Or, what?"

"Emotional. Or haven't you noticed? I have a reputation for being cold. Robotic."

He reached for her, dragging her in between his legs. "Nope. Haven't noticed, though I did hear a bit of squeakin' and gear grindin' earlier this mornin'."

Smashing her lips together she held back the smile at his antics, and her eyes were bright with something wonderful. "It's crazy. You and me? The indomitable Colonel Cameron Mitchell 'dating' the inscrutable Dr. Carolyn Lam? Besides, you come and go like rain. I never know if I'm going to see you for clearance or to put all the pieces back together."

"That's life in wormhole world. Carolyn, I'm askin' this right out…blatantly…do you or do you not want to be with me? I'm thinkin' long term here. So take your time and…"

She stepped outside of his legs, straddled him, and took his words into her mouth.

**One year, two months and six weeks later. 1100 hours. The Mitchell's residence.**

Coming into the house, she spotted the baby sleeping in the bassinet beside the couch. With a tight smile at her mother, Carolyn headed for her son, but was stopped when her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, ah, I was wondering if I could stop by later. Maybe later this evening. I…ah, well, I thought I'd bring some dinner with me. For you and Kim and me and Nicky. Jack was thinking he'd come too. He's not sure you're up for a houseful, though."

"Ahm, yes. Sure. Jack too. About six?"

"Yeah, great, thanks Carolyn. I'll bring Greek. That okay?"

"Fine. Sure. Six." Shoving the phone back into the holster on her hip she leaned and ran a hand over the sleeping child's head. "He's been good?"

"The best. I can't tell you how happy I am to be here, sweetheart, with you and him. I hope you'll reconsider my offer. Of course, only until Cameron returns."

Carolyn walked away, heading for the kitchen. "Daniel and Jack are coming over tonight. They're bringing the kids, and dinner. I hope you don't mind?"

Watching her daughter go through the motions of pretending to be perfectly alright made Kim's heart wrench with pain. She'd been at this same place before. And she knew without a doubt there was nothing she could say that could help her daughter now. She could only wait and be there when and if Carolyn ever let her guard down. "Yes, of course I don't mind. I enjoy your friends." _And appreciate their efforts._

"They're bringing Greek. Do you like Greek? You remember Daniel, don't you? He's married to Vala…"

"Yes, I know. And Jack is married to Samantha. It is so nice to have people who care about you, Carolyn, who are going through what you are. I never had that. It is …well, it is very nice.

Kim Lam approached her daughter, who burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.

Sobbing Carolyn spoke, "Was he ever gone like this?"

"Yes, more than once." Kim took her daughter in her arms and let her cry.

"How…how did you do it?"

"Not very well." Kim admitted honestly.

"But he came home. There's hope."

"There is always hope, Carolyn."


	3. Chapter 3

Lately I've Been Thinking…

Spacegypsy1

**Chapter Three: Leaving Las Vegas**

**Six weeks after SG-1 went missing. The Jackson's residence.**

Daniel sat at his dining room table surrounded by papyrus scrolls, several of his notebooks and two odd artifacts recently delivered by 'Joe' the base delivery guy.

Nicky was on the floor playing, surrounded by indestructible children's books, a fire truck and a toppled sippy cup.

Working proved to be difficult. Today, oddly enough, his thoughts had been on Carolyn. As hard as this was on himself, and Jack, they'd both talked about how hard it had to be on her. It wasn't something one could consider fortunate, but just the same, they'd had a decade, or more, of experience in…loss. He'd made the call to Carolyn as they'd planned.

Over the last few weeks he and Jack had kept in constant contact, sharing their feelings, even if it was in a strange, convoluted way. Their way, constructed over years with wit, snide and often confrontational 'sharing'.

Gaze lifting from Nicky to the wedding picture sitting on a shelf nearby, Daniel's face reflected the constant pain in his heart. In the picture, he wore a black shirt, black tie and black suit; she wore a very plain black dress, dark hair spilling about her shoulders, framing her luminescent face.

**Two years, ten months, three weeks, four days ago.**

The funeral for Major Cohen had been short, with only a small attendance. The memorial service earlier at the SGC being in direct contrast. Sad, the way it was within the family of those unable to share the truth. Sam was particularly troubled. She and Joan had spent time together at Area 51 and on several missions when Sam had accompanied SG-9 as technical advisor.

As SG-1, accompanied by Jack – who'd opted to be there to support his wife - made their way back towards the mountain. Daniel had started reminiscing about the old days.

"It never ceases to amaze me that the four of us are still alive."

Teal'c, still in Murray mode, hat pulled low over his forehead, commented, "Indeed." Then smiled at the ordinariness of the comment.

Vala, feeling sad and an outsider, chose to be offended. "Yes, well Daniel, the rest of SGC personnel agree. How is that? I mean that the original SG-1 superheroes survived while the rest of us peons muddled about?"

"Hey, princess, I don't think he was meaning…"

"Oh shut up, Cameron!"

"Vala!" Daniel scolded, "I don't think this is the time for self pity." He was driving, Vala sitting beside him, with Jack by the window.

"Yes, of course, I don't feel sad, I barely knew the woman. Oh wait, I did spend three weeks with SG-9, and Joan did take me to her son's bar mitzvah thingie."

There was the audible release of breath from Daniel. "That's not what I was implying. You're overreacting."

It didn't take a rocket scientist, a general, a hot shot pilot, and a Jaffa to figure out what the replied huff and hair toss indicated.

However, the archeologist was slow on the uptake. "What? What the hell does that mean?"

"It means, you cattle…"

"Cow." The other four offered.

"Cow. That I'm fred up…"

"Feed."

"Feed up with you're condescending…" she paused, waiting for a second or two to be sure she'd got it right, slightly disappointed that after all this time she still didn't have all the Tau'ri idioms correct. "…attitude."

"Vala." Sam laid a hand on her friends shoulder, but her eyes were on Jack who'd turned with a slight smile. Both thankful for the blessing of Vala's entertaining, if awkward, means of bringing some lightness to their mood.

But, as usual, Daniel was ready for battle. "We're all in this together. You need to stop with the…"

"Daniel!" Jack barked out, "shut the hell up. I don't understand why you two aren't married; you fight like an old married couple, like you've spent the last fifty years bickering. Give it up. Everybody knows what's going on between you two. You're fighting a losing battle. And, frankly, I'm tired of it. Just marry her and make us all happy."

They waited. The other five, for the explosion of Danielisms. It didn't come, he drove on in silence for a full three minutes and no one, not even Vala dared to breathe. Tapping on the steering wheel, Daniel inhaled for a sigh, thought better of it, sealed his lips as he clinched his jaw, and let the air flow slowly, silently out his nose.

"Right. You're right. Vala. Let's just get married. This is crazy. I don't want to wait until you get blown up and buried before I let go of my stubbornness. It's obvious we're nuts about each other. I can't sleep when you're not there with me. And god knows we can't sneak around on base. And everybody's already suspicious when we leave the base together and don't show up for three days. I can't think at work when you're not there chattering away, interrupting me. I've been crazy about you for so long, I can't remember when I wasn't. "

Nothing but the tires on the pavement could be heard in the car.

Finally, Daniel let out yet another frustrated sigh. "Huh? Okay? We can fly to Vegas today. I know that we love each other. Nothing is ever going to change between us, not better, not worse. What do you say?" He didn't get a response. "I mean, really, nobody has anything to say?"

"I believe it to be the best solution, DanielJackson. And too long in coming. I shall accompany you to Las Vegas. Do you not agree, ValaMalDoran?"

There followed the sounds of people shifting around. Vala laid her head on the back of the seat. "I want children."

"So do I."

"I need to be free to be me."

"Me too."

"And a ring."

"Not a problem."

"I need to know…that…well…Daniel…I need to hear…"

"I love you."

Her head tilted to rest on his shoulder. "I love you, too, darling."

"I'll have the cake waiting when you get back." Jack turned to smile at his wife. "I mean we'll have the cake, right Carter?"

"Right."

**Two years, ten months, three weeks, four days and fifteen minutes later.**

Heart physically aching Daniel remembered the flight with Teal'c in tow, who'd encouraged them with odd comments about their life and happiness as if he were some shaman predicting their future. There had been champagne on the plane, plastic flutes ticking constantly. Even Teal'c managed to down one full glassful, while he'd consumed two and Vala four. It was Teal'c who'd cut her off after that, just to be safe.

He'd never laughed so much in all his life. She made him happy. He would never forget the day she found out she was pregnant. He'd never forget the joy on her face and the love in her eyes. And he would never, ever, forget the way she made him cry when she told him how he had taught her to love with abandon, all the while he had tried to tell her she was the one who had taught him to love again. With the ghost of a smile at the flash of happiness they'd shared, Daniel's gaze once again went to the toddler on the floor.

Nicky's eyes were on his father's face, little eyebrows scrunched up as if in thought. His dark bangs, much too long, lay fringed above his brows.

"You need a haircut, little guy." Daniel grinned as Nicky stood, toddled over and on bare tippy toes reached for his father. "This," he said, sitting the boy on his lap, "is a very old, very… alien…text. It goes with this," picking up the beautiful gold cube decorated with jewels and a strange mixture of pictograms and unrecognized symbols, Daniel held it just out of Nicky's reach, "it's something new and exciting that I've never seen before. We'll have a lot of fun figuring this out." He set it back, far out of reach as Nicky grabbed for it. "Nope. It's not that kind of toy. We have to respect it, see if it's safe first. I think I better take these back to the base. And you, little guy, will have to stay here. We'll call Jan tomorrow. She'll take you to the park to play if it's not too cold. But tonight we'll visit with Auntie Carolyn and Uncle Jack."

"Yuk?" Nicky grinned happily.

"Yep, Uncle Yuk."

Daniel kissed his son's cheek and set him down. Nicky scurried off towards the fire truck. Rolling up the papyrus he placed it back in the box, then set the artifacts inside. He missed being at the SGC sometimes, but he did most of his work at home in order to be here for Nicky. Rarely did he agree to go off-world, sometimes hearing Vala's voice in his head berating him for not doing more of what he loved.

He'd made a choice. They'd all known it could come to this. But he'd always thought it'd be more like Armageddon knocking at Earth's door then a separation of longing and the horror of not knowing...again. Hands shaking, Daniel picked up the box and set it on the table near the door. _Just remember the happy times. Concentrate on that._

Nicky held up the fire truck. "Momma?"

Eyes slamming shut to block the emotions, Daniel nodded. Vala loved to scoot the fire engine all over the floor, furniture, and walls with an irritatingly incessant and poorly done imitation of a siren. He felt almost sick with the memory. "Soon, Nicky, soon, gods willing."


	4. Chapter 4

Lately I've Been Thinking…

Spacegypsy1

**Chapter Four: Thin Ice**

**Six weeks after SG-1 went missing. The O'Neill's residence.**

Jack signed the last of the fifteen long and boring reports he'd been doing as consulting work for the president over the last few days. Setting them aside, he once again looked out the window at the falling snow. The kids were playing in the back yard. Ava, strong and resilient, watched over Jacob, dusting off his bottom every time he slipped and landing on his little rump. Such a trooper, so like her mother with long blond hair and startling blue eyes. Sam's mini me, while Jacob was brown-eyed and mischievous. Jack's other 'clone', he laughed. Jacob was having trouble coping. Hell, Jack was having trouble coping.

Ava looked up, spotted him through the window, and waved her snow-dusted mitten, grinning. Jacob slipped again, and started to cry; Ava rolled her eyes. Laughing, Jack re-laced his boots, grabbed his jacket, and headed out the patio door.

"What's all the ruckus, big guy?"

"Well, daddy, he's having some balancing issues, what with the ice crystals forming under the wet snow, he doesn't quite have the capacity to think it through."

Jack stood there caught between heartache and laughter. She even sounded like Sam. "Okay, that's enough. Neither one of you finished your toast this morning before you high tailed it out into the snow. Come on inside, I'll make hot chocolate and some other something or the other."

"I don like somethin' or that other." Jacob's feet kept going sideways in different directions.

"There's cake." Jack bribed, grabbing the wobbling four-year-old under the arms.

"Tsk. Daddy, that's not a hearty breakfast. And it's old anyways. I'll make pancakes, mom taught me. I can do it." Ava marched ahead leaving Jacob and Jack grinning at each other with the prospect of pancakes.

--

"Yeah, well, they might be a bit thin but they taste good." Looking up, Jack smiled at Ava then Jacob, who ate with gusto.

"They're atrocious." Ava frowned at the half cooked thin lump on her plate.

"Atrocious? Nice word. But, still, they taste just fine."

"We're gonna starve to death, dad."

"We're having dinner at Carolyn's tonigh. Daniel's bringing Greek."

"I don't like Geek."

Jack turned with a serious expression. "Jacob, are you referring to the food or Daniel?"

They all laughed. Jack's gaze shifted from Jacob back to Ava, and his laughter died. She looked so much like her mother laughing like that, he turned away to get a grip on the fellings running rampant through him.

**Seven years ago – O'Malley's**

Sam's eyes twinkled and her head went back, exposing her neck as she laughed. While the others joined in, Jack stared at her throat. She was a beautiful women and he still wanted her after all these years.

When the group, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Mitchell and Teal'c, all settled down, Jack raised a hand for the waitress.

"Ah, no sir, I'm buyin'. I'm celebrating a three week leave, hell we're all celebrating it, but I'm buyin'. I haven't had two minutes in the last year to spend a dime." Cam was still grinning from the very risqué story Vala had blundered into telling.

Nodding, Jack agreed and turned to find Sam's eyes soft and caring on him. His smile grew. "So, Carter, gonna work on your fizzy, electromagnetic doohickey, your latest wacked out techno-mumbo-jumbo paper, or are you actually going to just rest?"

"All of them. Three weeks, and nothing dark and sinister nipping at our heels. This may be the very first time since I joined SGC that I actually think we'll get through three weeks without a shot fired."

Without responding, Jack raised his beer bottle in salute. She nodded and turned to listen as Vala tried to retract part of her story. Everyone started laughing again. His gaze studied the group of friends. There was Mitchell who he'd come to like for his bravado, and his impeccable command. Teal'c whom he loved like a brother. Daniel, the best friend he'd ever had - though he'd never admit it - and Daniel's ever present shadow, Vala, both of whom didn't have a clue that they were in love. And Carter. He missed being around them all. But mostly he missed being with her.

As Mitchell paid the entire bill, Vala wound an arm around Daniel's and for just a moment he looked down at her with a loving smile. Teal'c, Jack observed, was watching them with more interest than usual. Jack glanced back and found Carter watching him with head tilted.

"What?" He asked.

"You miss this, don't you?" The others had moved ahead as Sam moved closer to Jack.

"You know what I miss, Carter? I miss you. I miss you so much that I've been thinking all night that maybe you could just pack up and come back to Washington with me." It was out of his mouth so fast he was as astounded as she looked.

She recovered quickly. "Drive me home, and I'll pack. When do we leave?"

"You're serious?"

"Weren't you?"

"Hell, yes."

They didn't make it out of her house. Not for another day.

By the time they reached Washington, he'd proposed, she'd accepted and the rest of the gang was scheduled to arrive for the ceremony. A small civil affair, with Daniel as Jack's best man and Vala as Sam's maid of honor. It was done, just that quick. Sam never looked so happy. Jack never felt so happy.

**Seven years later – the O'Neill residence – 1400 hours**

While the kids napped, Jack turned on the Weather Channel. Sleet had mixed with the snow earlier today; he called Daniel with the news.

"Jack. It's supposed to clear up in an hour or so. Did you actually check the forecast? The plows have already been out, the streets are clear, we can't let Carolyn down. She's expecting us. If it's not safe, we'll stay in, but I'm planning to go."

"Yeah, you're right. Besides the kids are looking forward to Geek and Greek."

"Bye, Jack."

"I'm not doing so well today."

Daniel paused. "Me neither. So, let's assume she's also not doing so well today. It will do us good. The kids can play. We can talk. We all need to talk."

"You need to talk. That's what you do. I don't know how you two ever have a moment's peace, what with her constant chatter…oh, God, sorry."

"They're not dead, Jack, they're missing. We don't have to act like they're dead."

"Bye, Daniel."

"I don't know how you two manage to communicate at all. She speaks science-ese and you don't speak, you grumble and bitch, then close up like a clam. I'll pick you guys up at five. Please comb their hair and dress them nice."

"Yes, mother."

"Bye, Jack."

"Oh, no you don't, I got something to say, now. Make sure you remember to actually bring the diaper bag after you pack it this time! Bye, Daniel."

"They're coming home, Jack. We've got thousands of personnel and allies out there. They are coming home, and soon, I just know it."

"Right. And neither you nor I can go. That's just not right. Bye."

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know that one or the other of us might find them? And if something happened to us who'd be here for our kids? Goodbye."

"What time again?"

Click.

Jack dialed the number.

"What!?"

"I asked what time?"

"I told you."

"Ah, Daniel, no you didn't."

"I hear Jacob crying."

"He misses his goddamned mother! That's why he's crying."

"Jack."

"Shit. Sorry. Six weeks today. I'm losing it."

"I'll pick you up about five. We'll talk."

"Yeah. Okay. Right, Mr. I'm-so-calm. Your voice sounds like crap! Don't be late…Daniel? You okay?"

"Fine." Was all Daniel could say.

Jack tossed the phone on the couch. "I'm coming, Jacob."

Thirty minutes later, Jack dialed Sara's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sara, so how's John and baby Grace and Little John?"

"Great. And she's not a baby anymore, Jack, Gracie is eight. And 'little' John is twelve and not so little anymore. But how are you holding up?"

"I'm … holding up. I have a question."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure how to…well, how to tell Ava the truth. She's suspicious. She knows something's wrong."

"Tell her the truth as best you can. Communication is not your strong suit, but Jack, you need to tell her as much as you know, leaving out, of course, your own worries. She's six. She'll understand. Just tell her there's a problem. Jack. If…if something goes wrong. She needs to be prepared."

"Thanks."

"Sure. You want me and Gracie to come over, to be there?"

"No. But thanks. I'll get Carolyn and Daniel."

"Carolyn?"

"Oh, ah, Dr. Lam, Mitchell's wife."

"Call me if you need me."

"I will."


	5. Chapter 5

Lately I've Been Thinking…

Spacegypsy1

**Chapter Five: **

**1700 hours. The Mitchell's residence.**

Daniel, arms laden with bags and toddler, ducked in through the door. "It's starting to snow again. It was supposed to clear up."

Taking Nicky, Carolyn placed him on the floor and started unwrapping him from the layers of clothing. "Expecting a blizzard? He's got enough clothes on to last a week." She was smiling up at Daniel. "Put the food on the kitchen counter. Where's Jack?"

With the toddler in tow, Carolyn followed Daniel. "He's picking up beer, of course, and sodas and juice. Where's Kim?"

Together they unloaded the food. "She left about two to visit dad. I didn't discourage her; she needs some time to herself."

Daniel hesitated to consider the implications. "Ahm, they're getting along?" He twisted his head around a slightly quizzical brow aimed in her direction.

"Unpack dinner; I think I hear Jack at the door." Carolyn batted her dark eyes and smiled as she walked off.

--

The snow came heavy and thick with high winds. The house, full of the sounds of laughing children, a crackling fire, and a Wii that Ava had plugged into the television, made the silence of the three adults, each quietly reflecting on their situation, more poignant.

"I just checked the weather online," Daniel said, returning from Mitchell's office to the open area of the kitchen-family room. "It's bad."

"I just looked outside. It's bad." Jack gave Daniel a well-practiced, smart-assed, head-tilted, smirk.

"Don't be an ass, Jack."

"I told you."

"You know, when our otherworld allies and enemies monitor the space around Earth, all they'll ever hear is your cranky sing-song voice looping repeatedly… 'I told you'."

"Boys," Carolyn scolded.

Both Jack and Daniel stiffened, faces suddenly looking strange. Their eyes met and each knew the other had the same thought. She'd sounded just like Sam.

"I've made up the guest room beds for you and the kids. One of you needs to inflate the blowup bed, and then you both can move the crib in there for Nicky."

"What's Junior gonna do? Sleep in a drawer?" As usual, Jack grinned at his own cleverness.

"Junior," Carolyn said the name distastefully, "sleeps in a bassinet in our room." _Our room. Please Cam, come home. I need you._

"Doc, really, what is his name? What's on his birth certificate?" Hands in his pockets, Jack waited.

Daniel was on the floor, playing with Nicky, and turned in their direction, also waiting for the official name.

Softly, barely above a whisper, Carolyn replied. "Baby Boy Mitchell."

Daniel turned away, picked up Nicky, and hugged him.

Jack placed a hand on Carolyn's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I like that. Now we have Big Boy Mitchell and Baby Boy Mitchell. That works."

Carolyn lifted her eyes to Jack's and smiled a silent thank you.

"Okay, campers, let's get the sleeping arrangements done, kids to bed, and break out the beer and cards. It's gonna be a long night."

Carolyn frowned, "I don't drink beer. I hate it."

Pulling himself off the floor, Daniel grinned. "Believe me, you're gonna learn to love it before the night's over."

--

By 0200 they'd been playing poker for four hours.

"Doc! You can't put ice in beer!" Jack laid his cards face down on the table.

"I'm raising three dollars, and then I'm going to put more ice in my beer." The challenging look worked and Carolyn turned to Daniel.

"I'm out. You two are too much for me. I'm broke."

"Ah, come on, Daniel, Vala's credit card bills skyrocketing again?" The instant it was out of his mouth, Jack grimaced.

The room filled with tension. "Actually," Daniel affected a laugh, "they are pretty high. I'm cutting her off the minute she gets back." It was his turn to challenge Jack, his eyes wide and daring.

"Yeah, that's gonna fly. And what are you gonna do when Carter hauls her off to some spa? Hand her a wad of cash, because we all know she'd never use her own money."

The three picked up their cards. Daniel relented and called the raise; Jack hiked an interested brow and tossed his chips into the pile.

Carolyn laid down three aces. "I should have told him yes. I should have agreed to whatever name he picked." Her gaze lifted from her cards, going first to Jack and then to Daniel. "I'm going to officially name him Frank Cameron Mitchell."

"I…I didn't even say goodbye. I barely looked at her in the 'Gateroom. I was afraid she'd see the worry in my eyes. I should have said goodbye, Godspeed." Daniel placed a full house on the table.

Jack hesitated, setting down one card at a time. First the ten of Spades. "We didn't know, not that…" the Jack of Spades came next, with a little snap, landing just to the right of the ten. "I should've listened to my gut instinct; I should've at least discussed it with Sam…" Next the Queen of Spades tumbled from his fingers coming to rest far above the other cards. "I should be out there looking for her." He flicked the King of Spades out and it sailed dropping gently atop the Queen. "Not sitting here totally useless!" The Four of Clubs was turned up between his fingers; he let it drop and walked away from the table.

"Things have changed Jack. We have children to consider. We all left words unsaid."

"Oh, brilliant, Dr. Jackson. And we now leave deeds undone." The look in Jack's eyes was wild, unsettled, while his jaws clenched and his face held anger.

"Screw you, Jack!" Daniel's voice raised and he stalked Jack, coming face to face with his old commander.

"Stop it!" Carolyn used a loud whisper, "you'll wake the children. Stop arguing."

Ignoring the woman who'd come to stand in the space between them, Jack pointed right across her, his finger mere inches from Daniel's face. "You've grown soft again. I'm leaving, I'm going after her…them."

Slapping the finger away, Daniel glared. "Look who's brilliant now, what are you going to do? Drop the kids off at school, get lucky and find Sam and the rest of SG-1 when thousands have failed? Run and kill all the bad guys, toss Sam over your shoulder and drag the others back…that is if you can. Maybe you can leave them behind! You're such an ass, you don't deserve children."

"You son of a bitch!" Jack tried to shove Carolyn aside as Daniel took a cautious step back.

Grabbing a handful of each man's shirt Carolyn yanked them forward, "Stop!" Her voice seethed and her eyes flashed. The two of them blinked in surprise. "You're both hurting, and each of you is taking it out on the other one. You're using arguments to hide your pain, your fear. You have to stop it now. It won't help.

"Now be quiet, you'll wake the children." She paused, trembling with the effort to control herself. "I'm scared. I've never been so scared. If he comes back tomorrow, or in months, even years…or…" Carolyn broke down, voice catching, tears spilling, "or god forbid, he never returns, I will raise our child with love and laughter. I'll find a way. It's what he would want. No way will I take it out on them…or anyone close to me, no way. I need your strength. And you need mine. Please don't do this."

Daniel's eyelids fluttered, closing over the sting in his eyes. Jack looked up at the ceiling, fighting down the emotions. Carolyn let go of them, covering her face with her hands and sobbing. Daniel took her in his arms letting her cry against his chest, patting her back, hoping to somehow comfort her.

"Well, for crying out loud." Jack encircled both of them in his arms. He pressed his lips to Carolyn's dark hair and a hand to the back of Daniel's neck, squeezing gently. "Sorry. We're a team from now on, in the interim, no more arguing, no holding back. We stand together, right?

Carolyn nodded, her head caught between two strong chests.

Daniel lifted a hand to Jack's shoulder, "Yes."

Jack disengaged himself. "Doc, Junior's crying. I'll get him. You need to rest."

With a small laugh Carolyn wiped her tears with the heels of her hands. "Jack, he's breastfeeding."

Daniel eyed Jack with a snarky smile, which Jack returned in kind. "That I can't do."


	6. Chapter 6

Lately I've Been Thinking…

Spacegypsy1

**Chapter Six: Breakfast of Champions **

Jack set the table, placing the plates upside down and sending his children into peals of laughter, which got Nicky going with a silly laugh in response.

Jack yawned.

"Dad, did you stay up all night drinking beer?" Ava flipped her plate over, reached and flipped Jacob's, then Nicky's on the other side of her, giggling all the time.

"I did. But so did Uncle Daniel and Aunt Carolyn."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Blond curls bouncing, Ava shook her head. "I'm gonna tell mommy when she gets back. When will she be back? She's been gone a really long time."

Without a word, Jack kissed the top of Ava's head and headed into the kitchen. "Guys," he began, keeping his voice low, "Ah, I need your help. I have to tell Ava that something's gone wrong. How do I tell a child her mother may…never come back?"

"Oh, god." Daniel sighed and stepped away from the stove, leaned against the counter and dropped his head, leaving the eggs to sizzle, while Carolyn stopped buttering the toast and faced Jack in silence.

Head pivoting between his two friends, Jack frowned. "That's it? That's all you've got?"

"No, Jack, of course not; it's just hard. I need to think." Daniel reached back and cut off the heat under the burning eggs.

"Tell her the truth, Jack." Carolyn moved closer, laying a hand on his arm. "Just take her into the bedroom, sit down and spit it out. Everything. Just try to keep the worry out of your voice. She'll pick up on that. Sound positive, that everyone is out there looking for them. Let her know Cam and Teal'c and Vala are with her."

Jack heard Sara's voice in his head. "It's a woman's thing, right? That whole tell the kid the truth thing? How do you accomplish that?"

"When my father went missing the first time, my mother sat me down and started talking. She took my hand and told me he was missing in action, then explained what it meant and told me to pray for his safe return. I cried; I cried my heart out and my mother cried too, but she kept reassuring me that everything was being done to get him home. I held onto that hope I heard in her voice. And I pr…" When Carolyn's eyes settled on her father standing at the kitchen door with an arm around her mother, who blinked back tears, Carolyn smiled at them. "Jack. I'll go with you if you want."

He could only nod.

"Me too," Daniel offered.

Jack turned to find Hank Landry standing with his ex-wife, watching them. "It's a team thing, Hank. Care to finish breakfast and feed the kids?"

"Not a problem. Go on."

Passing through the doorway, Carolyn felt her mothers hand gently press her arm.

The three walked side by side to the table. Jack reached and took Ava's hand, "Come on, sweetheart, I need to talk to you. We need to talk to you."

Ava's head cocked sideways and she looked at the three adults. Her face held the knowledge that this was something very serious. She got up and let her father lead her down the long hallway, Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Daniel walking silently behind them.

--

Ava cried. "I don't understand. She's too smart. Mommy can figure it out, she can save them all. Oh, Uncle Daniel! Aunt Vala is missing too, and Uncle Cam. This is so bad. I don't want Jacob to know, he's much too little." She wiped bravely at her tears. "We should go to the building where mommy works, we should be sure they're all working to find her. Daddy! Please, she has to come home." Ava buried her face in her father's neck, wrapping her arms tight around him. "Thank you, daddy. Thank you for staying here and not leaving us alone."

Daniel's eyes were on Carolyn's. He crooked his head towards the door, she nodded once, and they quietly left the room.

Jack took Ava's hand, "When I first met Carter…ahm, I mean your mom," he looked down at his daughter, whose bright eyes were unmoving on his, "she was so young and beautiful and I knew, at the time, I could never love her." He paused as Ava laid her head on his arm and fiddled with his fingers. "But hard as I tried, I fell in love with her anyway." Jack's fingers wiggled, producing a familiar giggle. "And she fell in love with me. But we couldn't be together." When he stopped this time, she lifted those Samantha Carter trusting eyes to him. He cleared his throat. "Because…because we were in the Air Force and I was her superior officer. You know what that means?"

Rolling her eyes, Ava nodded, "Of course."

"Yeah, right. Over the years we went on a lot of missions, got lost, found and lost again, got shot, oh, ah, I mean…well we were fine."

"Right." He heard her whisper.

"Okay, so we got into a lot of trouble, met new friends, some really weird ones by the way and some not. But we never were able to be together, not for a long time." His heart nearly stopped when she squeezed his hand. "Finally, when things calmed down with our jobs, I left the, er, the building where mommy works and I moved to Washington and worked for the president."

"And you weren't mommy's boss anymore."

"Yep, and still not the boss to this day. I love your mom, I love you and Jacob."

"And Murray and Daniel and Carolyn and Cam and Vala?"

"Sure."

"And Nicky and Junior?"

"Yep."

"And you think…think that one day…one day soon, mommy and them will come back?"

"I hope so. I can't promise you anything, but I can hope. We can all hope."

"Daddy?"

"Yep?"

"I love you, and I'm sure glad that you're not gone too."

"I'm too old to go running around the gal…the planet."

"For crying out loud, I'm not a kid! I know you and mommy and the others go gallivanting 'offworld', this isn't my first bar-b-que, I've heard enough of talking late at night to figure that out."

Jack blinked, pulling his head back. _She's definitely her mother's daughter. __Damn, and way smarter than me. _

**Seven months later**

"Hey! Hey you two cut it out you're gonna drown Junior!" Jack jumped out of his chair and waded into the water, sending his kids swimming frantically to avoid him.

Sitting on a blanket beside the lake, Carolyn wiped the splashed water from the baby's face. "He's fine Jack, and please stop calling him Junior." It had become their private joke, him saying Junior, her telling him to stop.

"Ach!" Jack turned to find Daniel's little boy taking a chubby legged run towards the water's edge. "You're gonna be more trouble than your father. And where is he?"

"Getting popsicles from your freezer." Carolyn laughed when the two O'Neills splashed water at their father's back.

Holding the Jackson toddler over his head he yelled, "For crying out loud, I said cut it out."

"Where's mommy?" The five-year-old boy whined.

Carolyn's head snapped up to lock her gaze on Jack's. Ava stilled in the water, then dunked her brother.

Placing the toddler on the blanket, Jack tried to ignore his son, "Everybody out, here comes Uncle Daniel with popsicles."

Halfway across the yard, a box of popsicles in hand, Daniel yelled. "Jack, your phone's been ringing off the wall…or table." Once at the water's edge he passed out the treats, warning his own son not to get it all over himself.

Carolyn laughed lightly. "Daniel, please, he's barely two, he'll definitely have it all over himself."

"Jack, where's your answering machine?" Smiling at his son, Daniel tore the wrapper, situated it just right at the bottom, handed it over, and stood watching purple goo drip down his son's chin. "Nicky, you're a mess already."

"It's a vacation. We all deserve a break. I almost unplugged the phone but decided with the cabin full of kids we might need it. Remember, we agreed; no cell phones, no computers, no transmitters, NO SGC!" Turning back to the lake, he scowled. "Jacob, Ava, get out of the lake. Now. Your popsicles are melting." He reached down and lifted Junior, took a popsicle from the box, peeled the paper halfway down and held it for the baby to suck on.

Daniel sat Nicky on his lap as Carolyn distributed popsicles to Jacob and Ava, who dripped water on her.

Backs to the cabin, Daniel and Carolyn sat and watched Jack with the baby perched on his hip. Suddenly Jack's face went pale as his eyes lifted across the yard and stared.

"What is it?" Carolyn turned.

Jacob screamed, "Mommy!" He took off, with Ava right behind him.

With a gasp, Carolyn cried out, "Cam." She was up and running.

Nicky started crying when Daniel took the popsicle, threw it in the lake, and grabbing the boy he jumped up and rushed across the yard, Jack close on his heels, the baby giggling all the way.

The four SG-1 members stood shoulder to shoulder at the cabin's edge, watching the crowd rush towards them.

Vala was the first to move, meeting Daniel halfway, throwing her arms around him and Nicky, who continued to cry "sicle, Poppy, 'sicle."

Sam squatted, arms wide to receive her children in a fierce hug. Then she stood to embrace her husband, who'd quickly passed off the baby to Cam without a word.

Carolyn slipped into Cam's arms, the baby tucked up between them, all three crying and Cam and Carolyn kissing.

Teal'c observed with a wide grin.

Everyone was talking at once. "How?" "Bra'tac and his merry Jaffa." "What happened?" "Are you okay, you look great." "When?" "How long have you been back?" "We've been trying all day to reach you." "Oh my god, I love you." "You're here, you're really here." "Mommy!" "God, I've missed you." "I thought I would never see you again."

Ignoring the ongoing chaos, Teal'c took the now-screaming Nicky who appeared to be crushed between his parents. "I will find your popsicle. Come, Jacob and Ava. Help me to find the treat for Nicky."

**And they lived happily ever-after. The End.**

**A/N: **A heartfelt thanks to the indomitable MrsPolifax for the beta, as always, it is the foundation for me.


End file.
